And the winner is...
Ok guys, this was a toughie! The Sentence Game for the word : odoius has oficially ended. Thank you all for playing and keep your eyes open for the next word!
Suley, your skillz are, indeed mad, and I do love this sentence. It is peppery, if that makes any sense? "Although her speech with the duchess was quite melodious, her manner with the servants was decidedly odious." Suley, Super sweet!
The deal was sealed, then at the last minute, J.Star came along and gave you a run for your money!
"If I could carve out the way I really feel and put it on a pedestal for other people to see, its sheer odiousness would boggle the senses, scattering far and wide those who chanced upon it." J.Star, Just beautiful!
It was a toss up really, because while they are both so different, each caught my interest. The winner (of which I am bound by the rules to pick only one...Hey, I don't make the rules, I only enforce them!) is...J.Star!
I had sooo much fun with this, you all were so creative! I decided to make this at least a bi-weekly contest. So, J. Claim your prize...Whatever you wish!
And in other news, it has been a strange sort of weekend. M. On Saturday cajoled me into admitting that I am so unsure of us and that I would like to move out of the house. I can't tell you how devastated he was. It hurt so much to see his pain. Everytime I get the courage to end it all, I always cave because I can't stand to see him so bent up. He always tries to remain strong and promises to help me financially without a fight. He always wishes the best for me and swears that no matter what, even 5 years down the road, if for any reason I change my mind, that I always have a place with him. This would be the 3rd major time that I called it quits and every time it gets harder and harder.
I am concerned about my happiness in the future with him. He is bossy and obnoxious at times. He can seem uncaring and distant, but he never means to be malicious. I truly in my heart believe he is not the one for me, yet he is so adamant that I am the only for him. He is genuinely torn apart and it kills me. I don't wish to harm him and so I give in to him because I think to myself "how the fuck can you stand there while this man actually cries and pledges to love you forever no matter what? How can you selfishly just turn around and walk away leaving him so broken?"
It is just so much easier to scoop him in my arms and decide to suck it up and keep on keepin' on. It seems like the thing to do at the time, but as always, the regret for myself is beginning to sink in. The disappointment in myself for being weak. I am so damn torn. I get excited at the prospect of living in an apartment on my own and just proving to myself that I can take care of me. I envision that I could be happy not having to worry what he thinks all the time, the freedom to make decisions for myself. Theses are the things that attract me away from him. And the prospect of falling in love again, for the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, that high school giddiness that always accompanies a new relationship. Here I am married and settled into a life where my future is so fucking predictable when it's the last thing I want. Is that a selfish way to think?
He works so hard for "us" and I could care less. I am really a cold bitch. I think about having sex with other people, and staying out sometimes and traveling on a whim. I'll never do these things as long as I stay with him, yet I simply can not bring myself to go. It is so complicated. I had envisioned a different life for myself. I never thought I'd be tied down, and look where I am today. I am stuck and don't know what the right thing to do is.
So I am sitting here, slightly depressed, wondering what tomorrow brings. Hoping I can only feel the same way about him that he feels about me. But I know that hoping isn't going to do me any good. After 8 years you would think that you should know if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, right? Well I think I do know...But would I be making the right decision? For both me and him? Doesn't he deserve some amount of fairness? And to not have his life shattered because I have selfish needs and desires?
Suley, your skillz are, indeed mad, and I do love this sentence. It is peppery, if that makes any sense? "Although her speech with the duchess was quite melodious, her manner with the servants was decidedly odious." Suley, Super sweet!
The deal was sealed, then at the last minute, J.Star came along and gave you a run for your money!
"If I could carve out the way I really feel and put it on a pedestal for other people to see, its sheer odiousness would boggle the senses, scattering far and wide those who chanced upon it." J.Star, Just beautiful!
It was a toss up really, because while they are both so different, each caught my interest. The winner (of which I am bound by the rules to pick only one...Hey, I don't make the rules, I only enforce them!) is...J.Star!
I had sooo much fun with this, you all were so creative! I decided to make this at least a bi-weekly contest. So, J. Claim your prize...Whatever you wish!
And in other news, it has been a strange sort of weekend. M. On Saturday cajoled me into admitting that I am so unsure of us and that I would like to move out of the house. I can't tell you how devastated he was. It hurt so much to see his pain. Everytime I get the courage to end it all, I always cave because I can't stand to see him so bent up. He always tries to remain strong and promises to help me financially without a fight. He always wishes the best for me and swears that no matter what, even 5 years down the road, if for any reason I change my mind, that I always have a place with him. This would be the 3rd major time that I called it quits and every time it gets harder and harder.
I am concerned about my happiness in the future with him. He is bossy and obnoxious at times. He can seem uncaring and distant, but he never means to be malicious. I truly in my heart believe he is not the one for me, yet he is so adamant that I am the only for him. He is genuinely torn apart and it kills me. I don't wish to harm him and so I give in to him because I think to myself "how the fuck can you stand there while this man actually cries and pledges to love you forever no matter what? How can you selfishly just turn around and walk away leaving him so broken?"
It is just so much easier to scoop him in my arms and decide to suck it up and keep on keepin' on. It seems like the thing to do at the time, but as always, the regret for myself is beginning to sink in. The disappointment in myself for being weak. I am so damn torn. I get excited at the prospect of living in an apartment on my own and just proving to myself that I can take care of me. I envision that I could be happy not having to worry what he thinks all the time, the freedom to make decisions for myself. Theses are the things that attract me away from him. And the prospect of falling in love again, for the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, that high school giddiness that always accompanies a new relationship. Here I am married and settled into a life where my future is so fucking predictable when it's the last thing I want. Is that a selfish way to think?
He works so hard for "us" and I could care less. I am really a cold bitch. I think about having sex with other people, and staying out sometimes and traveling on a whim. I'll never do these things as long as I stay with him, yet I simply can not bring myself to go. It is so complicated. I had envisioned a different life for myself. I never thought I'd be tied down, and look where I am today. I am stuck and don't know what the right thing to do is.
So I am sitting here, slightly depressed, wondering what tomorrow brings. Hoping I can only feel the same way about him that he feels about me. But I know that hoping isn't going to do me any good. After 8 years you would think that you should know if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, right? Well I think I do know...But would I be making the right decision? For both me and him? Doesn't he deserve some amount of fairness? And to not have his life shattered because I have selfish needs and desires?
posted by Madam Sakura @ 10:17 PM
1 Comments:
At Mon Sep 12, 06:40:00 PM,
suleyman said…
Curses! Foiled again! I'll have my revenge! Man, that's just odious.
Well, if you wanna know, here's what I'd do in your situation: I'd up and leave. Of course, I'm not in your situation, and perhaps I would think differently, but - what do I know? I've never been in a really serious relationship before. Perhaps I'm fortunate in that respect.
If it's the last thing you want then move on. You don't have to be a beast of burden.
-Suley
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