a somber birthday indeed

I feel like such a jerk. Sometimes I can act like such an idiot. I don't know if you know this or not, but I primarily live in the moment. Whatever emotion I am feeling at a particular time, I believe I will feel it for the rest of my life. Then I proceed to make rediculous comments and act a fool. I wish I could rewind these last few days and have a re-do. *sigh* I realize that I have been bitching alot and after today I SWEAR I wont write anything else depressing...for a while at least.

The only album that will do for such an occasion as this is Counting Crows August And Every Thing After. Every song is perfect for me. It's like these songs were written just for me. I think my favorite song on the album is Anna Begins...It is so friggin poignant. His lyrics really get you in the booboo... Check 'em out...

Lyrics for Anna Begins:

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."

I am not worried I am not overly concerned

My friend implores me, "For one time only,make an exception."

I am not worried

Wrap her up in a package of lies

Send her off to a coconut island

I am not worried I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions

"Oh," she says, "you're changing."

But we're always changing

It does not bother me to say this isn't love

Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love

And I guess I'm going to have to live with that

But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey,

Something in between, And I can always change my name

If that's what you mean

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."

But I am not really worried I am not overly concerned

You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself

To make yourself forget I am not worried

"If it's love," she said, "then we're going to have to think about the consequences."

She can't stop shaking I can't stop touching her and...

This time when kindness falls like rain

It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind

"These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days,"

she saysAnd I'm not ready for this sort of thing

But I'm not going to break and I'm not going to worry about it anymore

I'm not going to bend, and I'm not going to break and I'm not going to worry about it anymore

It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."But it's not all that easy so maybe I should

Snap her up in a butterfly net Pin her down on a photograph album

I am not worried I've done this sort of thing before

But then I start to think about the consequences

Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...The time when kindness falls like rain

It washes me away and Anna begins to change my mind

And everytime she sneezes I believe it's love andOh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

She's talking in her sleep

It's keeping me awake and Anna begins to toss and turn

And every word is nonsense but I understand andOh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

Her kindness bangs a gong

It's moving me along and Anna begins to fade away

It's chasing me away

She disappears andOh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

If nothing else, I'll always have this album...Thank you guys also for your comments. It feels good to know ya'll got my back!

I'll be guest posting on Trampoline Tricks sometime within the next few days!