Really a new me?

I was working this morning, but my heart just wasn't in it. Normally I spent an eternity with each dog, making sure everything is just right. I couldn't give a rats ass today though. Instead I was compiling a list of things that the next Mr. Right must be. I was worried that when I finally left Mike that my taste in men wouldn't change and that I might end up with another one of him...But these few weeks I have noticed not so subtle changes in my taste in men.

I always used to be attracted to the peacock. The cool guy, Mr. Rico Suave. The guy who would give me the cold shoulder. For some reason the meaner a guy was to me, the more hot for him I would be. Hence, Mike. I met him at a mutual friends house one night about 1 yr before we got together. I was dating his friend at the time. We were sitting on the couch while Mike and a few other people were across the room. All of the sudden I hear him say real loud to the guy I was with "Who are these sluts?"

I will never forget it as long as I live. Of course at that moment I hated him. A few months later we met under different circumstances and I knew what an ass he was, but I found myself drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I think I needed his strength. I needed a savior at that moment in time, and save me he did. He saved me from living in a very uncomfortable home setting, he saved me from my family and most importantly, he saved me from myself. At the time I was in severe self destruct mode.

I think this is where our relationship went wrong. He needed to save me as much as I needed to be saved. We have never tried to evolve our relationship from that base though.

So here I am eight years later, definitely a veteran in the matters of the heart. I believe I know what I want in a guy. I really want to be picky and not just choose the first guy that walks into my life, as I have already been dissatisfied...Case in point...That guy A. But I picked up on it immediately, so I feel like maybe I have learned my lesson and that I just might be ok.

So the list, you ask? Hmmm...I think some things are better left unsaid.