Finally, some good news!

Well, these past few months sure have thrown some shit my way, it's about damn time some good things are happening! To summarize quickly, February 11th I am going to be testing for the police department...Something I have always wanted to do. So to get in shape for the physical test I have hired a personal trainer and joined a gym.

I have met a really cool guy who lives around the corner from me and who seems like he's going to be an awesome friend. I was at his house last night hanging out just watching movies and didn't come home till 7:30 this morning! I think it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

And I think I also met a guy...A guy who I could quite possibly in the future have an awesome relationship with. I met him Saturday night when a friend and I went to the bar to see on of the local bands play. I walked up to the bar to order a shot, when I hear a guy's voice to my left. Before you know it, I'm inviting him and his friend to the table cause he seemed cool. Within a few minutes though it became crystal clear to me that I was in now way interested in this guy, but his friend I had noticed had been looking at me...We began to lock eyes from across the table...I invited them back to my house for a few games of Def Jam NY on the Xbox, and they decided to come.

We three hung out at my house for a few hours and had some really great conversation. Mostly it was me and T. Talking and almost instantly I could feel there was a connection. There was this great tension...kinda like back in junior high when you like someone and they like you so you try to come up with excuses to brush your fingers across theirs...We were doing the same thing. I had butterflies in my stomach, it was all so sweet and innocent. It was an amazing feeling.
we made plans that night when they left to go to the casino on Monday night and hang out.

So, out we went last night. It was the most fun I have had in a really long time! T. And I were inseparable. We were sitting down at the nickel machines and taking turns placing bets and spinning the wheel. He was a true gentleman and it was sweet when he would brush his fingers over mine "accidentally"! There was this amazing connection that we both began to feel when I sat down with him later in the night. It was going to be the last money he was going to spend and we were going to head home. He had 300 credits left on the machine and he asked me to help him out. We began coming up with fun superstitious way of hitting the buttons...Like we both took our index fingers on the left hand (had to be the same hand!) and on my count push and hold the button until the wheel would stop. Then we started flicking each other's fingers to hit the button. There was the series where we were pushing the button using the others pointer finger...And then there were the 10 spins where we both pushed the button while gazing into each others eyes...The rules were that neither could look away until the wheel stopped. He made me feel like I was the only other person in the room with him....Probably the most romantic experiences I have ever experienced with a guy!

His friend was getting mad though that we were spending so much time together because he liked me...T. Felt bad, but not bad enough to not spend time with me!

Now here is the dilemma: T. Has a girl friend...

They have been together for 4 years and just got back together after a 6 month split. From what he says, things haven't really been the same with them and he has been questioning their status...He told me that he would never cheat on her, and I would never want him to, not even to kiss me. I have so much respect for him because of that. After that few moments where we were gazing at each other, he seemed to get a little upset. He said to me "You know, I'm having a really hard time talking to you right now. I need to take a break..." He walked off to the bathroom and came back a few minutes later. I think he really wanted to kiss me...

I gave him my number and said this to him "If you decide not to call me, I will completely understand..." He replied "Oh, you know I am going to call. But you have to understand that right now it can only be as friends..." I told him "I completely understand. If that is all we can be, that's better than nothing. It isn't every day that you meet someone you connect so easily with and quite honestly I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all" He proceeded with something like "You never know what the future brings...I think it's important to be friends first anyway..."

I swear...WHY DOES HE HAVE A GF? He made me smile so much...I feel like a giddy school girl...*sigh*

I could see in his eyes the struggle that was going on in his mind. He kept telling me how amazing I am and it felt awesome to be noticed like that. I truly think that if this does go any where, it will be unreal...How many guys would sit in a crowded casino and play silly games like no one was around...It was the sort of sappy stuff you would only see in movies. Sappy and SWEET though!

There was one moment where he began laughing and said "this is so gay!" I took it as an insult because I was having so much fun and I thought he was too..."This is NOT gay! It's friggin fun!" I spat out at him...He said "OMG! Hell yea it's fun! But it is a little gay, I mean who does this?" I said to him "We do..."

I can't even believe how nice he is...We shall see what the future brings eh? Right now he is staying in Sedona for a side job with his friend. I do not believe that I will hear from him until he goes back home on Thursday to Phoenix. His friend was soo pissed by the end of the night, you could cut the tension between them with a knife...I had apologized to T. For kinda getting him in trouble with his friend. He said that it was worth it...Heh...Aww geez I am such a friggin dork!

I do hope to hear from him...If not I will probably always wonder about him...